“We can’t tolerate this anymore”: The salve of toothless words

"We can't tolerate this anymore." But we will.

Americans are in love with violence. Our nation was born through warfare, genocide of Indigenous peoples, domination, oppression, conquest and the abuse of peoples and lands. We have always turned to violence to solve our difficult problems. Diplomacy is mocked, prevention is disallowed for fear of stepping on toes or causing embarrassment, empathy is given lip service. We distrust change.

In the aftermath of the Newtown, CT massacre, we cry and lament, we demand justice and answers, we claim to want change and vow to make things different. We scream that we "can't" tolerate these mass murders anymore. Our lawmakers look on sternly, threatening to pass new laws and restrict access to guns and increase funding for mental health services. We claim, we argue, we demand, but our words are a toothless salve to our imagined wounds. We are horrified today. We will accept more tomorrow. 

Here is the ugly truth. We are in love with violence, our deep-rooted national mother. The roots are now enmeshed into land, as much as into our spirits, our national identity, our communities, and our homes. I could easily make this argument broader and say that the human species is in love with violence, but I am speaking as an American, and so am focused on America.

Americans are in love with violence. From the genocidal conquest of the millions of Indigenous peoples not so long ago, to the wars fought in the name of money, resources, land, ideas, and revenge, to the seemingly minor and insignificant presence of violence in our everyday lives with television shows, movies, video games, insulting gossip, road rage, intolerance of difference, and looking the other way when a person’s behavior is “off.” We walk around each other on eggshells, ready to fight and argue at a moment’s notice, hair trigger tempers kept in check by weakening threads of civility.

We know what the problems are. All of us stand ready with reasons, arguments, evidence, and pleas, but none of us has the courage to admit the truth: We are in love with violence. We turn to violence as an answer – we always have. And here is the ugly truth: We always will.

The events of Newtown, CT did not occur in a vacuum. We are all culpable. We are a violent society born out of violence, forged over hundreds of years of violent acts used as resolution, and hardened and desensitized by our entertainments, our news, our daily commutes. We speak toothless words of outrage to salve our violence-loving selves. But we will not change. And this will happen again. Because we will not change.

Perhaps we really are like the Romans after all.

Why I'm not thankful for Thanksgiving (and you shouldn't be either)

Where to begin. Oh, yes.

Racial and cultural stereotypes.  Romanticized misinformation. Seductive mythology. Historical distortions.

Shall I continue?

Lots of people have corrected the misinformation over the years, quite publicly, and yet we still see “the first Thanksgiving” being taught to kids in schools fully focused on everything in my opening lines, from war bonnets and fringed loin cloths, to noble Europeans feasting openly in friendship with the noble “Indians.” Did you know that the colonists may have raided the Wampanoag food cache just to survive that first winter? That’s not friendly or neighborly; it’s desperate. But instead of punishing these white-faced morons, the Wampanoag taught them better planting techniques and skills the following spring so that they would stop raiding their winter food stores. (Feeling the Thanksgiving love yet?)

Read this for more information about the truth of why that first “thanksgiving” event was indeed a happy one.

Singular perspective.

The story of the “first” mythological “Thanksgiving” is always, always, always told from the European Pilgrim perspective, never from the Native American perspective. Not only is this wrong, it is disingenuous and irresponsible. Try this story on for size - Happy Thanksgiving: An American Indian Perspective.

If you are a parent and you know that your kid’s school is perpetuating this myth and the accompanying stereotypes, then you are responsible to correct this misinformation. Call the school. Complain. Ask for the Native American perspective to be included in the lessons. Talk about why Thanksgiving is a Day of Mourning for many indigenous peoples in this land, instead of a day filled with jubilant overeating and family goofiness. Ask that the students be exposed to some of the original documents from that time period so they can get a more accurate picture instead of fantasy images that have no connection with reality. Case in point:

At least this early school activity says "Native Americans." Small miracles, I suppose. But here's the other problem related to this image...


"Indians are dead, right? A thing of the past?"



When I teach Contemporary Indigenous Rhetorics, or talk to people, even casually, about this subject, the reaction is sadly often reflective of this statement. I'm taking liberties and being blunt, but this is the assumption: Native peoples WERE, not ARE. They existed in the past - the past celebrated by this ridiculous holiday that doesn't "honor" anyone. Rather, this holiday only serves to relegate these vibrant, real, present peoples to a past steeped in Euroamerican myths and misconceptions.

We even apologize badly.

Did you know that every year since 1990, the U.S. President has issued a Presidential Proclamation declaring November to be Native American Heritage Month.

On one hand, it is a positive rhetorical move. On the other, there is no practical action attached to it, which essentially makes the gesture moot. Be honest. Did you even KNOW about this proclamation? Even if you did know, what do you do to celebrate real Native peoples and cultures this month? And don't say "celebrate Thanksgiving." Some schools and towns might hold a "Native American Festival" for a day or a weekend and invite regional tribal peoples and groups to hold dances and traditional craft demonstrations. Good stuff, right? Wrong. We are keeping over 500 federally recognized tribes buried in the past because we can't be bothered to question and reverse our comfortable "truth."

The past is present.

One of my favorite Ojibwe comedians, Jim Ruel, had a great bit in one of his comedy shows (wait, you're thinking, Indians aren't FUNNY?! And they have stand-up comics?! Whaaa? It's ok. I'll give you a moment to watch this clip and then I'll continue with the story):

http://www.myspace.com/nativecomic/videos

Anyway, the bit involves physical gestures that ends with the classic middle finger. His friend asks him if Indians celebrate Thanksgiving and Jim responds, "We do. We call it You're Welcome Day."

Manifest attitude.

From the hideous days of Manifest Destiny when white Euroamericans made it their mission to take everything from Native peoples, from food, clothing, and culture, to ceremonies, identity, land, and life, to today when us white Euroamericans continue this oppression by simply ignoring and not even having the courtesy to acknowledge this devastating reality connected to our "day of thanks" national holiday.

It is disgraceful. And we are culpable. We should care. We could try harder. Maybe it's time for more of us to feel distinctly uncomfortable with this reality and share these facts with our friends and families. Share this post - that's a start. Go ahead and stuff yourself and play silly board games and love Mom's pumpkin pie...but take a moment to acknowledge the truth behind this holiday.

Knowing is the first step.

Harvest feast celebrations have always existed with human populations; but our time to celebrate should also include honoring the truth of the past and acknowledging that Native American peoples still exist as vital, modern cultures who practice traditional beliefs while surviving and thriving. Educate yourself, share the knowledge, and be thankful that you are no longer perpetuating a lie or continuing a stereotyped myth.

Sharing the knowledge is a better beginning.

Adventures in Debt

According to Thomas King, the truth about stories is that's all we are. If this is true, then my story is heavily invested in the debt narrative.

My student loans for grad school are currently in forbearance - I can't afford the payments, which would be $650 a month if I was paying every portion. That's about 25% of my take-home pay. So I'm only paying on my Direct loan from the federal government, which is only 6% of my take-home pay. The bulk of my debt is held by a private debt service company who bought most of my loans. Today, I was paying bills and putting through another request to keep the bulk of my loans in forbearance for another year to give myself a chance to catch up financially and maybe even save some money and I noticed that my loans have risen from a total of $66,000 (principal plus interest since 2006), to over $72,000 thanks to accumulating interest. And that is after I've paid off some of the smaller amounts ($2,500 and under).

Amazing how expensive American education is. But that's not the best part.

In this nation of plenty, I find myself with a really good job - a college professor - a job that comes with a certain amount of suspicion or gravitas, depending on whose opinion is being solicited. I live in a safe neighborhood, have a decent and functional wardrobe, eat fairly healthy foods. But at my job, I and my faculty colleagues still do not have a contract - since August. Therefore, all of my living expenses - from gas to food to rent - have risen, but like many Americans, my salary remains stagnant. I had to do something. Something drastic.

So I'm buying a duplex for $165k. As a first-time home buyer, I receive some rate breaks and with an FHA mortgage, I can put a small amount down as opposed to 20%, which would take me a lifetime to save up. The place I've selected is in tip-top shape - and I don't say that lightly. The mechanicals are damn near perfect - a new roof, new high-energy efficiency HVAC system, and new water heaters within five years. Beautifully maintained. The place won't need serious maintenance for ten years. It's basically a buyer's wet dream.

Becoming a landlord after 23 years of being a tenant might be intimidating, but I am confident I can handle it, especially because this place has a positive cash flow. Fully rented, this place pays for the mortgage and then some - by quite a bit. Once I move in, I will only collect one rent, but that comes within $200 of paying the monthly mortgage, leaving me quite the additional income to pay off bills, save for property maintenance, and save for myself (finally).

Go figure.

Only in America could I be so deeply in debt for my education, have a fantastic job that doesn't pay me enough, and be able to go much deeper into debt in order to increase my salary and be able to afford to live a moderate lifestyle and start really whittling away at paying down my debt.

I suppose it's called playing the game. Gotta pay to play? But part of me also shrinks in horror at the ridiculousness of it. This is some story.

What's your story?

Making it known

"Let every man make known what kind of government would command his respect, and that will be one step toward obtaining it."

Henry David Thoreau penned this statement in the first part of his famous essay, "Civil Disobedience" in 1849 (originally "Resistance to Civil Government") and the idea rings as true today as it did in his time. Perhaps more so.

In light of the heinous acts perpetrated on the UC Davis student protesters this week, which in itself reflects a disturbing escalation in the authority-driven violence that this movement has somehow incited (possibly because of a few lone out-of-line protesters in some locations?), I was reminded of Thoreau's essay and of our nation's long history of civil disobedience in order to create real and substantial change.

If Jefferson, Franklin, et al, hadn't disobeyed the King, we might still be English. If people hadn't protested slavery (and had a war that contributed to that argument), we might still have pro-slavery laws. If women hadn't broken the law by occupying public spaces and protesting on behalf of themselves, we might not have the right to vote today. If brave men and women hadn't linked arms and walked across Selma, Alabama, or taken seats at lunch counters and on buses where they were not allowed to be...the American Civil Rights movement would have been a faint whisper, not a roaring lion of change that now inspires gay rights activists to push for changes to antiquated, religiously-based marriage laws in our secular government.

Our government has always changed to reflect the needs and desires of its citizens...usually because we citizens rise up in non-violent civil disobedient actions that cause a whole lot of people a whole lot of headaches to the point that they can't ignore the issue anymore. Pretty sound and effective strategy if you ask me. Thoreau was on to something.

Let's take a look at that initial statement I started with:

"Let every man make known what kind of government would command his respect, and that will be one step toward obtaining it."

Notice that he doesn't, at this point, say HOW we should make it known. Just that every man should make known what kind of government would command his respect. And the making known is "one step toward obtaining it."

The Occupy Movement is beyond this first step just three months after its inception, but these words reflect how that movement started - a rather unorganized, but solidified group of Americans, believing in the idea that wealth and economic opportunity are dangerously unbalanced in this nation, to the detriment of 99% of our citizens. (And yes, I chose a liberal web site for a description because all of the conservative-leaning explanations are so fallacious and filled with fear rhetoric that it paints a terribly unbalanced and untrue picture. The Huffington Post site is sympathetic to the cause, but I do believe they present the facts as they are, not as they wish to see them, at least in this case.)

Now to the question: What kind of government would command MY respect? What kind of government would command YOUR respect? This seems to be at least one of the underlying questions the Occupy Movement tackles - they are presenting their case (making known), through civil disobedience (and Constitutionally-approved actions), the kind of government that would command their respect. And in the making known (the occupying, the protesting, the Youtube videos, etc.), they are taking the first step toward OBTAINING the government that they/we would respect.

Given all of the historical precedents...why is this movement such a problem for those in "authority"? When faced with seated, cowering, unarmed college students, why would a police officer in full riot gear, loaded with various weapons of control, feel that the right course of action would be violence? Perhaps for the same reason that in all of those historical situations that I cited, the people in authority at that time reacted violently...because they could sense a sea-change coming and they not only disagreed with it, they feared its coming. Think about all of the fear-based rhetoric surrounding our current President - if you ask my parents, you'll discover that world as we know it is ending. Right now. And that idea is endorsed daily on conservative talk radio and on the many shows of Fox News.

However, for those of us that live in this world right now, and see it and accept it in all of its variety and tainted glory, and are willing to accept the good with the bad, the not so great with the absolutely amazing, we understand that making it known is not against the law - even if it requires breaking a few rules to MAKE it known.

We have a right to peacefully assemble according to our Constitution. And according to Thoreau, every person should "make known what kind of government would command his respect" as a first step toward obtaining it. This is the fundamental principle underlying our flawed and imperfect, yet somehow useful system of government. We embrace its flaws and misguided ideas as much as we tout its strengths and capabilities. And this is precisely why those of us who don't make $1,000,000 or more a year should embrace the Occupy movement and condemn any who stand in its way.

Let the movement run its course and see what kind of sea-change will result. No more pepper spray attacks on unarmed, seated, peaceful protesters. No more rubber bullets or batons or paintballs. Unfortunately, the violence perpetrated by authority figures, while sickening, might be necessary to capture the attention of those with the power to make the change. That also has long historical precedent - a peaceful movement reacted to with violence, which only galvanizes the movement and hones the power of the message to a fine and persuasive point, which leads to substantial legal change.

This is a very exciting time to be an American. With massive unemployment and economic disparity, change like this is inevitable. So to those who fear or misunderstand it, take note of our history and of Thoreau's words. May they give you solace and courage to accept the change that is coming.

Self-sufficiency: A dead idea?

Somehow, self-sufficiency as a term, lifestyle, thought process, and concept has died. In my experience, self-sufficiency breeds confidence, which feeds and strengthens the self-sufficient mindset. When exactly did this idea die?

While it is easy to assign generational blame (The Boomers! It's all THEIR fault! The Xers! They're the ones! No, no! The Millennials! Yes, yes, THEY'RE the ones who dropped the ball...) to our faltering society, I prefer to consider overall attitudes and approaches to our collective problems. A fellow blogger in this vast digital space posted a rather incendiary rant about how us Gen Xers were able to cope with all sorts of social and economic difficulties and somehow survive - so what's wrong with these darned kids today?!

Part of me deeply agrees with the sentiments expressed in that blog post. Far from being nihilistic, narcissistic, or self-aggrandizing, my generation tends to be filled with hard-working, entrepreneurial, and self-sufficient people who just want to do for themselves and their families and communities and be left alone. It's actually very Libertarian of us as a generation, but without the crazy stump speeches.

Here's where the generational blame can trickle in - people who are now in their late teens and early 20s (Post-Millennials) tend to despair of their potential futures and often retreat into that despair (and inaction) instead of thinking their way around this massive obstacle. Which obstacle would that be? I don't know, pick one. Massive social and financial inequality (class warfare, anyone?). Disparity in educational opportunity and access. A government that doesn't really seem to see its own people, much less care about its people's welfare (in the sense of happiness, well-being, and prosperity as opposed to the "hand-up"/"hand-out" government-run system of assistance for those at or below the brink of poverty). Less jobs in the areas we've come to expect to see lots of jobs. Inconclusive and unfinished wars that the U.S. is perpetually and infuriatingly involved with. The persistent destruction of natural habitats and species worldwide (for us tree-hugger types).

I could go on. But here's where I pause and hesitate to step across the line into accusation...

How are these circumstances fundamentally and materially different from the world in which I grew up as a Gen Xer? Aside from degrees of severity in each situation, I don't see how things are all that different. And this strengthens my resolve to push creativity and the intellectual flexibility that accompanies it as the solution to all of this hand-wringing despair and what some would call reactionary movements that have yet to achieve any real action or change (I did say YET).

How do creativity and self-sufficiency then connect? Easy. Those who have a self-sufficient mindset - who are not made to feel dependent on others for their thoughts and actions - who not only believe they are capable of figuring anything out, but who KNOW through practice, that all problems have multiple solutions - who want to materially provide for themselves come what may - those are the people who will naturally use their creative thinking abilities to, as Tim Gunn might say, "Make it work." How many Gen-Xers grew up with this mindset approved and encouraged by their parents, families, and schools? I would suggest most. How many kids today grow up with this mindset approved and encouraged at home and at school? I would venture very unscientifically into...well, not many (based on what I see my students thinking and struggling with).

To criticize people today, regardless of their generational label, for lacking self-sufficiency seems a horrible crime. How dare you suggest that people can make their own ways?! Do anything for themselves?! Have you SEEN how difficult things are?!

Yes, I have seen how difficult things are. I know the numbers of people out of work. I feel bad that a vast portion of our populace has neither the access nor the opportunities that I and many of my cohort had. However, to wallow in despair (as some of my students do) and lament that all is lost, no future is to be found because our economy is done for...is to miss an opportunity. What happened to thinking your way around a problem? The brilliant people who speak at TED do it all the time in the face of impossible odds. They figure it out. They make it work. They work hard to make their ideas come to fruition.

This is the message and the lesson we should be passing on to the younger generations. No one should be filling young heads with despair and doom. We should be encouraging them to think differently about their futures, to generate new ideas and businesses that will respond to and fulfill a need in this NEW reality.

We can't change the sins of the past. But we can change how the younger generation considers their present and future worlds by encouraging them to be more self-sufficient and think their way around these seemingly impenetrable problems. We CAN develop new programs and businesses and career paths that will work in this new economy. We SHOULD work together to vote people into office who will make better decisions. We MUST encourage a self-sufficient mindset so that the upcoming generations don't lose faith before they even have a chance to begin.

If self-sufficiency is a dead idea, then we may be dooming ourselves to a future without innovation, without creativity, and without any ability to see our way past difficult situations. What a terrible legacy to leave behind. We, as Gen Xers, should take up this challenge and find a young person to speak to about being self-sufficient. Individual actions can change the world, after all.

Sign of the times?

One of my students just had a breakdown. Not an "I'm so spoiled and unhappy with this B" breakdown, but a genuine, "I can't handle life anymore" breakdown.

Not in my class, but it easily could have been.

He's been a little...off...all semester. And getting progressively more frustrated, more agitated, more angry...leading to more frequent outbursts that disrupt class...but only momentarily. He has cried several times out of anger and frustration at the start of the daily quizzes because he wasn't as prepared as he knew he needed to be.

This is the first time I've encountered this situation and it is disturbing. I care about this student, so I called counseling services when the behavior started and after-class conversations contained phrases like "ready to throw my desk across the room" and "I'm on the edge" and "I don't want to do this anymore." The counselor advised me to suggest to this student that he visit the counseling center for a chance to vent and talk to someone privately who can help with coping skills and just be a kind ear. But if the student's behavior escalates, well, the counselor said...professors have been known to walk students over to the Center.

Tuesday in class, this student was more disruptive than he'd been before. Physically slamming his books, marching across the room in front of me to loudly and angrily sharpen his pencil, making gestures and facial expressions that were angry and agitated. Interrupting other students, making conversational asides that didn't make sense, and contributing almost nonsensical comments to the conversation, causing his classmates to smirk or look at him in confusion.

I didn't know what to do. Should I have dismissed class and walked him to the counseling center? The outburst lasted only ten minutes total and I have 25 other students to consider. I chose to ignore the outburst as best I could and once he calmed down, then I did call on him during the in-class discussion portion. As usual, his offerings were just a bit...off. Not quite on target. But I accepted his contribution and other students picked up the threads and continued discussion.

Moments ago, one of his other English professors came into my office. He had a breakdown in her class this morning. She drove him to the counseling center. We discussed granting him extensions for his work, which I am going to do. We also discussed this strange phenomenon that seems more acute this semester - students under extreme stress and in over their heads. She's seeing it more this semester than ever before (she's been teaching for two decades). I'm noticing it more as well, even being relatively new to this side of the desk.

It is easy for us to dismiss these students as privileged, entitled, lazy, and incapable-by-choice. But my student who finally broke down is not lazy, or privileged, or incapable - he strives for perfection, he has a job and is taking a full and strenuous course load as a senior in order to set himself up to hopefully get a good job post-graduation. He has family problems, one of which is the extraordinary pressure that he perceives his family is putting on him about finishing college. He worries about everything. His performance in class. What his professors think of him. Whether his level of engagement and participation is enough. Whether he is making the right choices.

Perhaps my student is the exception and not the rule. But another of my students in the same class is having severe family issues that is causing her undue distress and is distracting her from her work - and she is most decidedly an A student. And she failed the last quiz outright. Zero questions answered.

I'm beginning to wonder if the economic realities and conditions in our society are increasing the stress on these capable young people. They want so badly to do well and succeed, but they see an untenable future before them, even as they push themselves to work harder, faster, better in order to compete.

I don't know what the root cause is...or if there are multiple causes working simultaneously, but I just can't dismiss this idea that our current economic situation and social attitudes are having a negative effect on our youth.