What DID the camel say when that straw broke its back?

I walk into my 3pm Advanced Composition class today, which is the same regular classroom as my 1:30 College Comp class, and see this:

I won't tell you what my Advanced Comp students said, but it was salty. A little backstory might be appropriate...

Every semester, one class has the "Bad Seed" dynamic. Ask any professor and she will nod, roll her eyes, groan, and exclaim, "Yes!" We get them every semester. Just one class in which the dynamic is rotten to the core, much like the Grinch's original heart before the Whos get to him. The dynamic varies, but always centers on some variation of "too smart for the room," "resent having to take this class," and "I don't care, you are wasting my time." Some semesters are milder than others, but just my luck, this semester, this particular class has a roiling, obvious, distaste for me, the subject, the work, you name it. I've actually ignored all smart-ass comments and all eye-rolling and all disgusted side comments. Until today.

Today, when I walked into the classroom and saw this (the second of such notes - the first was "Dr M for President (and) We LOVE College Comp! (heart symbol)" - and that was while I was sitting at the front desk meeting with students one on one. So, this class has no shame and isn't hiding the fact that they can't stand me or this class. So today, the proverbial straw broke the proverbial camel's back.

And what exactly did the camel say when this happened? Well, see for yourself:



Good evening, class. 

To the 13 students who read the not one, but TWO, emails I sent yesterday regarding our locations and class plans for the final four days of class - and who also likely read the syllabus (where this information may also be found), thank you for coming to the library and diligently working on your Project Three research today. I am sure that your hard work will pay off in excellent and well-researched essays.

And now, allow me to direct your attention to D2L and the last item in the Readings folder labeled "Visual Rhetoric created by 1:30 College Composition class." Please note that the construction of "We we're" is incorrect. The misuse of apostrophes is really quite rampant on our campus and I encourage each of you to seek out assistance to alleviate this problematic grammatical construction issue - the Writing Center's tutors are well-qualified to assist in such matters. Furthermore, there is a 15 minute rule on our campus, not 10, so you should be aware of your audience when making claims with evidence, particularly when your evidence is false - hurts your credibility. In addition, the use of the ever-popular and clearly heartfelt heart symbol should really be colored in for extra emphasis and appeal to the viewer's emotions.

Finally, I would like to ask that you disregard those two emails that I sent yesterday...and disregard the schedule listed on the syllabus. I know that our schedule has been set and in print since the semester started, but I find myself inspired and persuaded by this display of visual rhetoric acumen to change the final three classes into conference days.

Therefore, if you attended class today in the right place (due to having read both of my emails and having consulted the syllabus), or have a legitimate and verifiable excuse for your absence (read that, doctor's note, court appearance document, funeral program), then I encourage you to visit me in my office during our regular class time for the next three classes in order to receive more specific, personal, and one on one help with the development of Project Three. You may choose to bring me an outline, your first few pages, a resource that you would like help with analyzing - whatever you think would help you the most. I'm here to help you because you are putting in the time and the effort to complete this course.

The rest of you are free to do what you want with the time. Best of luck on Project Three - it is still due during our final exam time.

Best,

Dr. M

Why I'm not thankful for Thanksgiving (and you shouldn't be either)

Where to begin. Oh, yes.

Racial and cultural stereotypes.  Romanticized misinformation. Seductive mythology. Historical distortions.

Shall I continue?

Lots of people have corrected the misinformation over the years, quite publicly, and yet we still see “the first Thanksgiving” being taught to kids in schools fully focused on everything in my opening lines, from war bonnets and fringed loin cloths, to noble Europeans feasting openly in friendship with the noble “Indians.” Did you know that the colonists may have raided the Wampanoag food cache just to survive that first winter? That’s not friendly or neighborly; it’s desperate. But instead of punishing these white-faced morons, the Wampanoag taught them better planting techniques and skills the following spring so that they would stop raiding their winter food stores. (Feeling the Thanksgiving love yet?)

Read this for more information about the truth of why that first “thanksgiving” event was indeed a happy one.

Singular perspective.

The story of the “first” mythological “Thanksgiving” is always, always, always told from the European Pilgrim perspective, never from the Native American perspective. Not only is this wrong, it is disingenuous and irresponsible. Try this story on for size - Happy Thanksgiving: An American Indian Perspective.

If you are a parent and you know that your kid’s school is perpetuating this myth and the accompanying stereotypes, then you are responsible to correct this misinformation. Call the school. Complain. Ask for the Native American perspective to be included in the lessons. Talk about why Thanksgiving is a Day of Mourning for many indigenous peoples in this land, instead of a day filled with jubilant overeating and family goofiness. Ask that the students be exposed to some of the original documents from that time period so they can get a more accurate picture instead of fantasy images that have no connection with reality. Case in point:

At least this early school activity says "Native Americans." Small miracles, I suppose. But here's the other problem related to this image...


"Indians are dead, right? A thing of the past?"



When I teach Contemporary Indigenous Rhetorics, or talk to people, even casually, about this subject, the reaction is sadly often reflective of this statement. I'm taking liberties and being blunt, but this is the assumption: Native peoples WERE, not ARE. They existed in the past - the past celebrated by this ridiculous holiday that doesn't "honor" anyone. Rather, this holiday only serves to relegate these vibrant, real, present peoples to a past steeped in Euroamerican myths and misconceptions.

We even apologize badly.

Did you know that every year since 1990, the U.S. President has issued a Presidential Proclamation declaring November to be Native American Heritage Month.

On one hand, it is a positive rhetorical move. On the other, there is no practical action attached to it, which essentially makes the gesture moot. Be honest. Did you even KNOW about this proclamation? Even if you did know, what do you do to celebrate real Native peoples and cultures this month? And don't say "celebrate Thanksgiving." Some schools and towns might hold a "Native American Festival" for a day or a weekend and invite regional tribal peoples and groups to hold dances and traditional craft demonstrations. Good stuff, right? Wrong. We are keeping over 500 federally recognized tribes buried in the past because we can't be bothered to question and reverse our comfortable "truth."

The past is present.

One of my favorite Ojibwe comedians, Jim Ruel, had a great bit in one of his comedy shows (wait, you're thinking, Indians aren't FUNNY?! And they have stand-up comics?! Whaaa? It's ok. I'll give you a moment to watch this clip and then I'll continue with the story):

http://www.myspace.com/nativecomic/videos

Anyway, the bit involves physical gestures that ends with the classic middle finger. His friend asks him if Indians celebrate Thanksgiving and Jim responds, "We do. We call it You're Welcome Day."

Manifest attitude.

From the hideous days of Manifest Destiny when white Euroamericans made it their mission to take everything from Native peoples, from food, clothing, and culture, to ceremonies, identity, land, and life, to today when us white Euroamericans continue this oppression by simply ignoring and not even having the courtesy to acknowledge this devastating reality connected to our "day of thanks" national holiday.

It is disgraceful. And we are culpable. We should care. We could try harder. Maybe it's time for more of us to feel distinctly uncomfortable with this reality and share these facts with our friends and families. Share this post - that's a start. Go ahead and stuff yourself and play silly board games and love Mom's pumpkin pie...but take a moment to acknowledge the truth behind this holiday.

Knowing is the first step.

Harvest feast celebrations have always existed with human populations; but our time to celebrate should also include honoring the truth of the past and acknowledging that Native American peoples still exist as vital, modern cultures who practice traditional beliefs while surviving and thriving. Educate yourself, share the knowledge, and be thankful that you are no longer perpetuating a lie or continuing a stereotyped myth.

Sharing the knowledge is a better beginning.

A Modest Proposal for the Secdee-ers

Yes, yes, I totally stole the title from Jonathan Swift. It's just so fitting.

I really shouldn't give this any more validity by blogging about it...but....but....it's too good. I can't help myself.

Sore losers People in (now) 35 states have declared their desire to SECDEE! from the United States:



And for no other reason than...wait for it....their guy lost the presidential election (heavens to mergatroid! What do you MEAN that there's a winner AND a loser?! I thought we lived in a world where EVERYONE is a WINNER?!)

Talk about sore losers.

And sour grapes.

And bad spellers.

But I digress.

In reality, this is pure ridiculousness, which is why it really doesn't deserve anyone's time or attention, least of all the President's...and yet:

White House to Review Online Secession Petitions

...thus proving two things. One, President Barack Obama is much kinder and gentler than I am. Two, these Tea Party nuts are so arrogant as to waste our leader's time with their bad spelling, irritating fearfulness, and irrational anger. I, for one, have had about enough.

Hence, my modest proposal.

I'm a fan of proactivity. If you can see a problem coming, either get out of the way, or eliminate it.

In this case, I suggest we jump ahead of the Secdee-ers and instead of waiting for the President and his staff to wade through their endless stream of diarheaa of the brain...let's just kick them out. Not the states, just the people who signed those petitions. Let's be honest. They wouldn't be missed.

Their own leaders aren't even with them:

Conservative leaders reject secession talk

Texas Governor Rick Perry doesn't approve

Let's give them the southeast corner of Montana (in the Glendive area) and the Black Belt of Alabama. Or maybe Martha's Vineyard. (Hey, if I really wanted to be cruel, I could have suggested the southwest corner of Texas!) We'll grant refugee status to anyone living in these zones and federally-funded $5,000 stipends to help with moving expenses. And then, once these portions are empty, these secessionists can trek in with their tents, guns, Bibles, bad attitudes, and lack of birth control and go to town.

It's a good idea, don'tcha think? That way the rest of us will no longer have to see them, hear them, or deal with them. Until they beg for our government's help when a disaster strikes. Or they need food. Or electricity. (You didn't think the EU is going to come to these idiots' aid, did you?) They'll be out of our system (which is what they want) and we get slightly less traffic, slightly more jobs, many freed-up homes for sale, and a more balanced and sane electorate. Of course, we'll lose a great source of entertainment and meme-generation, but I'm willing to give that up to stop the madness.

Maybe I'll start a movement: Kick Out the Secdee-ers! Kick 'Em Out, Kick 'Em Out, Waaaayyy Out!

Who's with me? Maybe we could petition the President and ask HIM to kick them out. Because he doesn't have anything better to do right now. Clearly.

The art of audience; or, a free lesson in "the rhetorical situation"

Three things happened today that I just can't ignore. And yes, they are related to the election, so if you are one of the reams of people who wish it to all just go away already, please feel free to stop reading. But some things must be said. And this is one of them.

First, a brief lesson in "the rhetorical situation." What is that, exactly? Well, it's not as scary as it sounds because you encounter and create these daily. A rhetorical situation is composed of the following elements:

1. A "text" (could be written, visual, audio, digital, etc.; any actual piece of communication)
2. An author (he or she who uses a text to communicate a message)
3. An audience (recipients of an author's message)
4. Purpose (the reason(s) the author and audience are communicating)
5. A setting (place, time, location of the communicative exchange)

Think about your day. Perhaps you stopped at Wawa or Panera this morning for coffee. Saw a lot of ads, didn't you? Well, each of those advertisements is a "text" communicating a message (drink Pumpkin Spice!) by an author (the store) to an audience (you) for a purpose (to get you to drink a certain flavor of coffee) in a particular setting (Wawa, 8:00 am, Bethlehem). Got it? Good. Let's move on to something less tasteful than pumpkin spice coffee.

Problematic rhetorical situation #1: A friend's teenage son's comment on a Facebook thread that suggests "Obama should be shot at." (written communication)

Problematic rhetorical situation #2: My mother calls tonight to lecture me about the end of the world and the end of business and the end of healthcare access and the end of collecting interest, etc. because she is scared; and to criticize my financial choices and lecture me on economizing. This is the "piss in your kid's Cheerios" call that I've been experiencing for, well, ever. And should really know better than to return a call when mom doesn't leave a message. No message = nothing good. (audio communication)

Problematic rhetorical situation #3: A HS friend posted a critical status update making sweeping generalizations about the people who re-elected President Obama. Specifically, he laments the "danger" of a "citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency." Furthermore, he expounds on how difficult it will be to "restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president." (written communication)

The problem with each of these situations is not actually the "texts" themselves - the First Amendment guarantees us all the right to spout whatever we want and not be arrested for it (unless it is obscene or hateful, and even that is hard to prove). The problem exists with the third element of the rhetorical situation - the audience. 

The author of any message should be aware of his or her audience - how the message will be received, who is in the audience, and what their situation is (as it relates to how the message will be received). Having an awareness of one's audience requires us to be, at least momentarily, outside ourselves for the span of time it takes to craft the communication and deliver it. Interestingly, my mom is the least problematic of the three because she's been doing this for so long that it's habit at this point - she can't help herself. And the fact that I finally blew up by stating that I've had a hard week and do not need to hear such things right now was enough to get her to stop. Well, that, and the fact that I said, "I'm hanging up now, mom. I love you, good night." Click. And life for us will go on. She'll realize she had terrible timing and overstepped (again) and will call or email to apologize (eventually). And I, understanding that's how she is, will acquiesce and accept said apology (again) and move on.

The danger with the other two messages is something that scholars are starting to study. It is an inherent lack of respect, awareness, and understanding that one's audience may take great offense to what you have so carelessly tossed out in a public space where there is no face-to-face accountability in the situation. I can understand why some of my friends and colleagues have deleted themselves from Facebook - usually for more reasons than this, but these types of problematic rhetorical situations certainly contributed to those decisions.

These examples are not the standard-bearers of reasoned discourse. They are not even in the ballpark of rationality. Rather, they are insulting and disrespectful because they were put out into a public space with zero concern about audience. And if any thought was given to these messages being received negatively, it seems to be with cavalier disconnection from feeling - a distinct lack of caring that these words may have offended or disturbed anyone in the social "network" who has access to those messages.

When you are the author of a message, if the purpose is to alienate your audience, then by all means, say whatever you want in whatever manner and you will surely achieve your goal. On the other hand, if you wish to express fear, discontent, anger, etc. but not alienate your audience, then find a way to express your message using respectful language that honors your audience.

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Every day should be "gratitude season"

Apparently, the rash of "I'm so thankful for (fill in the blank)" status updates on Facebook has something to do with "gratitude season," which is an expression I spied on a friend's feed.

Gratitude season?!

I'm sorry, I really am, for what I am about to do, especially if you buy into this particularly saccharin mode of public expression.

I call bullshit.

But let me tell you why.

Every day of every week and month and year should be "gratitude season." And not just in our hearts (gag), but in very practical, lived ways. Why on earth would we restrict our thanks and expressions of gratefulness to November and December, a time for holidays that I find particularly distasteful anyway, no matter how yummy the mashed potatoes and turkey. But my problem with Thanksgiving will be reserved for another post. And don't even get me started on Christmas. Back to my lack of respect for a "gratitude season."

If you do not take the time during the regular course of your life to thank the people around you, to express your gratitude for tolerance, love, acceptance, a raise, your neighbor's willingness to lend you a ladder, whatever...then you have abdicated your right to complain about the state of humanity. If all of us spent more time thinking about how we could thank the people in our lives who make them better, on the whole, then our society would have a much different and more forgiving and tolerant tenor than it does now.

I know that the folks expressing their thanks publicly are doing so because they care, they love, and they want others to know how sincerely they appreciate people, ideas, services, etc. Putting it in writing somehow lends it, dare I say it, gravitas. A sense of weight and importance and sincerity. Fine. Good! I'm glad to see people spending a minute on such efforts. Now how about doing this every day, all year long? Carry these feelings of gratitude with you into, say, March. Or July. Why wait until a random public sanction allows you or requires you to do so?

And now a word in support of those who aren't participating in "gratitude season." Perhaps you consistently express gratitude and thanks on a regular basis to those you care about and just don't feel like doing so publicly. The pressure will mount on those of us who aren't participating in the form of unspoken eyebrow raises and silent judgments from the people who ARE publicly expressing gratitude and thanks - they may look at our political or humorous or non-grateful status updates and judge us negatively. My, my, look at her - not ONE gratitude post ALL season! Tsk, tsk.

I suppose I'm just getting more jaded and cynical with age. Or maybe I just prefer my humor and politics to be public (much like my writings), while my gratitude and thanks are mostly private affairs, often expressed in handwritten notes at random times throughout the year and not in a socially-established and sanctioned "season." I've had the same problem with Christmas, too, so don't think that I'm just focusing on THIS particular made-up "season." They're all a load of crap designed to make people feel better about themselves as opposed to truly bringing light and love into others' lives.

So, for "gratitude season," I say, "Bah, Humbug!" Spread that love and thanks around during the year - don't just wait until November and December. And on behalf of everyone who finds this idea ridiculous and who won't be posting "gratitude" missives, please don't assume that we aren't grateful...we just prefer expressing it in other ways. ;)