Today, one of Slate.com's bloggers, The XX Factor's Amanda Marcotte, published this piece about women being caught in "an infuriating bind" that we can't seem to win: Women: Please don't be stylish. Also, please don't be frumpy.
Having been out of the corporate world for awhile, I found myself thinking about a similar bind in academe: the chili pepper.
For those unaware of this little icon's nefarious undercutting of all things important and professional in the university system, the "chili pepper" is a "hotness" icon on ratemyprofessors.com. If you open the site and select a professor, any professor, you will be given five ratings items for this highly trained, educated, and skilled individual: Overall Quality, Helpfulness, Clarity, Easiness, and Hotness, this last as exemplified by the red chili pepper icon. Holding your cursor over this icon, the following text appears, "Is your professor hot? Hot professors get a red chili pepper."
Let's start by acknowledging that this icon can be assigned to women or men, but I maintain that it is infinitely more damaging to women professors because academe remains a male-dominated space in which we continually must prove ourselves equal and worthy.
By including "hotness" as a quality deemed important or appealing to students, this web site (and, presumably, anyone who assigns such chili peppers to professors) dismisses the individual professor's education, experience, skills, abilities, intelligence, and care for students. Instead, the chili pepper places undue emphasis on physical attributes and appearance in a location that SHOULD be focused on the education of the MIND, hopefully in service of preparing said minds for future career success after graduation. How does "hotness" affect this outcome? It doesn't, and its inclusion as a ratings option on ratemyprofessors suggests that the way your professor LOOKS is more important than HOW and WHAT she teaches. The chili pepper, with one click of the mouse, devalues a female professor's worth as a professor.
Some men might be bothered by receiving a chili pepper, but women who receive them are considered objects of desire not to be taken seriously, instead of credible vessels of knowledge and gatekeepers to the next academic level. This type of misplaced emphasis on physical appearance contributes to an already potentially harsh environment for women professors. According to Bernice Sandler, a Senior Scholar in Residence at the Women's Research and Education Institute,
"Some studies (but not all) show that students rate their female professors more harshly than their male professors. In one study, where women students gave their female professors somewhat higher ratings than the men, the women still viewed the male professors as more dynamic and as better teachers.25 How well women fit the stereotypes of “femininity” can also affect their evaluations by students. One study found that ratings of women faculty were strongly affected by whether they smiled and were sociable, but these factors were less important to the ratings of men.26 Another study noted that women who presented themselves in traditional feminine ways were rated less competent than women who did not."
She who receives the ultimate icon of disrespect has been devalued as a professor and deemed "less than" - less than easy, less than fun, less than serious...with an emphasis on "less than easy to look at." According to this scale, the "hot" professors are the ones students should want to take because physical appearance dominates the goals of a college classroom, right?
Imagine being the female professor who has received a chili pepper by a former student. Imagine the discomfort that causes, knowing that at least one of her former students looked at her as an object to be fantasized about instead of a professional who had valuable information to teach. Imagine going into the next semester knowing that her future students will see that chili pepper and what they will think of her as a result. Imagine having to get past that high wall of assumptions in order to get the semester's work done.
Women and work may still be a difficult concept for many Americans to grasp, and the chili pepper contributes to the next generation's misunderstanding of the role of women in professional environments.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Radical surrender: A new mantra
Everyone has their limits before they break.
You've probably had one of those weeks. Or months. Or years. Where one thing after another goes wrong and nothing you do to correct, push back, or fix seems to work. When no matter what you do, say, or think, someone dislikes you enough to try and get you fired. When all of your positive efforts fail and your dentist announces a major procedure is forthcoming. Where you go in for a routine checkup and discover that genetic testing is necessary to determine the presence of a cancer gene which may or may not lead to a life-changing surgery. When following the rules and making good decisions doesn't work and you end up in a debt hole that feels too deep to climb out. You know. One thing after another piles up and suddenly, you reach maximum capacity and feel overwhelmed and beaten down. Like the universe has turned on you.
That's where I was last week. I was a wreck. The littlest thing made me cry. I lost all motivation to do anything productive. I was tired, so tired. All I had the energy to do was sit on the couch and watch Justified. Movie review due. Article needing revision. Syllabi to revise. Book to write. Data to enter. Insurance company to fight. Friends to catch up with. Lawn to mow. Things to do. No energy. I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only person who has experienced this sensation.
I was down and headed toward depression. A temporary state for me, thankfully. Not much brings me down and as my officemate noted at our lunch last week, I do tend to bounce back and recover rather quickly from these universe punches to the gut. I've been doing it all year.
I just reached my limit. Fortunately, unlike the many people I know who get stuck in this lackluster cauldron of despair to the point of truly needing medical help, I must have some kind of internal hard drive that only lets me sink so far before my mind starts to talk me off the ledge. Good friends help. Caring parents, likewise. Mom said to me today, "You have a strong back to carry all of this." And a wonderful man whose mere presence calms me in a way I never realized was possible.
On Friday, I was miserable and I'm sure when my honey saw me, he wondered where the woman he fell in love with disappeared to. That depressed, sad, worried, weepy, down woman was someone else. But it wasn't. It was me. And I really did feel that bad. And I also know that not everyone has the ability to pull themselves out of such a funk.
On Saturday, after a good night's sleep and plenty of discussion, caring snuggling, and sympathy (and an entire bottle of blood orange creme liquor shared while sitting on the bow of a boat as the wind blew across the marina and bay as the clock ticked toward 1 a.m.), I woke to fully feel this realization: Something will happen.
When I had lunch with my friend last week in the midst of my despair, I mentioned this idea of radical surrender, and she confirmed the concept by stating, "Something will happen."
This tickle of an idea set something off deep in my core, even as I felt myself sinking deeper. Something will happen resonated inside me like a temple bell. Something will happen. Something will happen. Like a mantra, I kept repeating this to myself until Saturday morning.
On Saturday morning, I awoke and FELT the idea. Something will happen. And I will deal with it when it does. Uncertainty can be dealt with better with less energy spent on worrying about potential outcomes. I cannot control the who, what, when, where, why, or how, but something will happen. And when it does, I will deal with it.
That proverbial weight crushing me just lifted and I suddenly felt calm. There's something liberating about being completely overwhelmed and realizing there isn't anything you can do to change things. Because something will happen. So just wait. And deal with that something when it happens.
I also need to acknowledge my sweetheart, whose mere physical presence calms me. Our relationship is marked by peacefulness despite our many surface disagreements. It's funny to me because people who hear us playfully disagreeing must think we don't agree on anything. But the issues we disagree on are actually insignificant in the grand scheme of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. When I am with him, I am calmer. I motivate him to try new things like attending theatrical performances and kayaking and moving to a better marina, and he makes me smile, laugh, and feel calm. Our relationship has a peaceful centeredness that I treasure. It is this center that I returned to this Friday night and that retreat pushed me back into accepting radical surrender as a new mantra.
I am thankful for his presence in my life and am thankful to have a healthier mindset heading into one last shore trip this week before the semester starts anew.
Maybe you're in that headspace where everything feels out of control and you feel like you're drowning. Please, don't. You won't drown. You do have people in your life who know you, support you, and care about you. You are not alone. You can get through this. Try repeating this new mantra and maybe it'll bring you back to your center. Practice radical surrender. Something will happen and you will deal with it when it does.
Peace, friends.
You've probably had one of those weeks. Or months. Or years. Where one thing after another goes wrong and nothing you do to correct, push back, or fix seems to work. When no matter what you do, say, or think, someone dislikes you enough to try and get you fired. When all of your positive efforts fail and your dentist announces a major procedure is forthcoming. Where you go in for a routine checkup and discover that genetic testing is necessary to determine the presence of a cancer gene which may or may not lead to a life-changing surgery. When following the rules and making good decisions doesn't work and you end up in a debt hole that feels too deep to climb out. You know. One thing after another piles up and suddenly, you reach maximum capacity and feel overwhelmed and beaten down. Like the universe has turned on you.
That's where I was last week. I was a wreck. The littlest thing made me cry. I lost all motivation to do anything productive. I was tired, so tired. All I had the energy to do was sit on the couch and watch Justified. Movie review due. Article needing revision. Syllabi to revise. Book to write. Data to enter. Insurance company to fight. Friends to catch up with. Lawn to mow. Things to do. No energy. I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only person who has experienced this sensation.
I was down and headed toward depression. A temporary state for me, thankfully. Not much brings me down and as my officemate noted at our lunch last week, I do tend to bounce back and recover rather quickly from these universe punches to the gut. I've been doing it all year.
I just reached my limit. Fortunately, unlike the many people I know who get stuck in this lackluster cauldron of despair to the point of truly needing medical help, I must have some kind of internal hard drive that only lets me sink so far before my mind starts to talk me off the ledge. Good friends help. Caring parents, likewise. Mom said to me today, "You have a strong back to carry all of this." And a wonderful man whose mere presence calms me in a way I never realized was possible.
On Friday, I was miserable and I'm sure when my honey saw me, he wondered where the woman he fell in love with disappeared to. That depressed, sad, worried, weepy, down woman was someone else. But it wasn't. It was me. And I really did feel that bad. And I also know that not everyone has the ability to pull themselves out of such a funk.
On Saturday, after a good night's sleep and plenty of discussion, caring snuggling, and sympathy (and an entire bottle of blood orange creme liquor shared while sitting on the bow of a boat as the wind blew across the marina and bay as the clock ticked toward 1 a.m.), I woke to fully feel this realization: Something will happen.
When I had lunch with my friend last week in the midst of my despair, I mentioned this idea of radical surrender, and she confirmed the concept by stating, "Something will happen."
This tickle of an idea set something off deep in my core, even as I felt myself sinking deeper. Something will happen resonated inside me like a temple bell. Something will happen. Something will happen. Like a mantra, I kept repeating this to myself until Saturday morning.
On Saturday morning, I awoke and FELT the idea. Something will happen. And I will deal with it when it does. Uncertainty can be dealt with better with less energy spent on worrying about potential outcomes. I cannot control the who, what, when, where, why, or how, but something will happen. And when it does, I will deal with it.
That proverbial weight crushing me just lifted and I suddenly felt calm. There's something liberating about being completely overwhelmed and realizing there isn't anything you can do to change things. Because something will happen. So just wait. And deal with that something when it happens.
I also need to acknowledge my sweetheart, whose mere physical presence calms me. Our relationship is marked by peacefulness despite our many surface disagreements. It's funny to me because people who hear us playfully disagreeing must think we don't agree on anything. But the issues we disagree on are actually insignificant in the grand scheme of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. When I am with him, I am calmer. I motivate him to try new things like attending theatrical performances and kayaking and moving to a better marina, and he makes me smile, laugh, and feel calm. Our relationship has a peaceful centeredness that I treasure. It is this center that I returned to this Friday night and that retreat pushed me back into accepting radical surrender as a new mantra.
I am thankful for his presence in my life and am thankful to have a healthier mindset heading into one last shore trip this week before the semester starts anew.
Maybe you're in that headspace where everything feels out of control and you feel like you're drowning. Please, don't. You won't drown. You do have people in your life who know you, support you, and care about you. You are not alone. You can get through this. Try repeating this new mantra and maybe it'll bring you back to your center. Practice radical surrender. Something will happen and you will deal with it when it does.
Peace, friends.
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