Monday, January 25, 2010

Nearing the End...Maybe?

Wow. Last post was 2008? That makes me both sad and maniacally hysterical all at once. That should actually tell you something about what getting a PhD is like. ;)

Nonetheless. I am nearing the end and will either graduate this summer or next, depending on which opportunity I've worked for materializes. And if none of the opportunities I've set myself up for work out, then I will definitely be here another year (sob). But, in keeping with my generally sunny outlook, I will say that if I AM here for another year, I will have time to develop my dissertation into book form AND work more on my photography. Things could be much worse, so I won't complain.

"Won't complain." Sounds noble, doesn't it? Yeah. But I can honestly say that if the job I applied for doesn't call back, or the Fulbright I applied for falls through, thus stranding me here another year...I am going to feel discouraged, deflated, and like I just wasted the last four years of my life.

Not saying I won't bounce back. I was just telling a friend tonight that life has taught me to expect the worst and to take it in stride, which may sound depressing, but is a good survival skill. It's the waiting that's killing me. Not knowing is the worst.

So I stay busy and wait for other people to make decisions about the course my life will take this year. Sigh.

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