“We can’t tolerate this anymore”: The salve of toothless words

"We can't tolerate this anymore." But we will.

Americans are in love with violence. Our nation was born through warfare, genocide of Indigenous peoples, domination, oppression, conquest and the abuse of peoples and lands. We have always turned to violence to solve our difficult problems. Diplomacy is mocked, prevention is disallowed for fear of stepping on toes or causing embarrassment, empathy is given lip service. We distrust change.

In the aftermath of the Newtown, CT massacre, we cry and lament, we demand justice and answers, we claim to want change and vow to make things different. We scream that we "can't" tolerate these mass murders anymore. Our lawmakers look on sternly, threatening to pass new laws and restrict access to guns and increase funding for mental health services. We claim, we argue, we demand, but our words are a toothless salve to our imagined wounds. We are horrified today. We will accept more tomorrow. 

Here is the ugly truth. We are in love with violence, our deep-rooted national mother. The roots are now enmeshed into land, as much as into our spirits, our national identity, our communities, and our homes. I could easily make this argument broader and say that the human species is in love with violence, but I am speaking as an American, and so am focused on America.

Americans are in love with violence. From the genocidal conquest of the millions of Indigenous peoples not so long ago, to the wars fought in the name of money, resources, land, ideas, and revenge, to the seemingly minor and insignificant presence of violence in our everyday lives with television shows, movies, video games, insulting gossip, road rage, intolerance of difference, and looking the other way when a person’s behavior is “off.” We walk around each other on eggshells, ready to fight and argue at a moment’s notice, hair trigger tempers kept in check by weakening threads of civility.

We know what the problems are. All of us stand ready with reasons, arguments, evidence, and pleas, but none of us has the courage to admit the truth: We are in love with violence. We turn to violence as an answer – we always have. And here is the ugly truth: We always will.

The events of Newtown, CT did not occur in a vacuum. We are all culpable. We are a violent society born out of violence, forged over hundreds of years of violent acts used as resolution, and hardened and desensitized by our entertainments, our news, our daily commutes. We speak toothless words of outrage to salve our violence-loving selves. But we will not change. And this will happen again. Because we will not change.

Perhaps we really are like the Romans after all.